As I continue to journey towards a vocation to the married Priesthood, I feel like Moses. Will I ever get to the Promised Land? Will I get to this new beginning? It has been about 9 years of active discernment and 6 years of part time theology studies and few more stages to come.
Among my hesitations and doubts and there are always some, are the enormous expectations that we place on our priests. Anecdotally, I think this is far greater in the Lebanese and Maronite tradition than elsewhere.
Can I live up to these expectations? How will I handle a life lived on stage, where my gestures, my clothes, my look, my mannerisms, my homilies, my voice and much more are all scrutinized? How will I respond to criticism about the income I earn and the car I drive and the phone I have? What about my wife’s dress code or her own lifestyle choices? And later on God willing, some will surely have questions about my children’s behaviour?
I hear all of these so often about other priests. I contribute to these often. For many Lebanese families who are committed Catholics, this is the trendy topic of discussion around the table.
Sometimes there seems nothing that a priest can do right. According to the people, a priest today needs to be a shrewd manager, counsellor, doctor, singer, teacher, politician, administrator, leader, etc.
But I wish that was all. The hardest of all is when people have a particular image of holiness that they want every priest to fit in. Ready for this: They want all priests to look like, act like or at least remind them of St Charbel. St Charbel is a saint and a spiritual genius who was a monk, and a hermit for the last 25 years of his life. Perhaps this comes from our yearning for the divine. A noble and essential thirst. But to ask that all priest look like him or some other saint, dress like him and walk like him, is not fair because they are not him. They are not living in the same era as well.
The Holy Spirit who makes us holy, also fosters unity in diversity (not uniformity) in the Church, which means that even though we all strive to the same holiness, we all do it differently, because “there are varieties of gifts”, and “varieties of ministries” and “varieties of effects”, but the same God who works all things in all persons.” (1Cor 12:4-5). Even Lumen Gentium (document of Vatican 2) says: All the faithful, whatever their condition or state, are called by the Lord, each in his own way, to that perfect holiness whereby the Father Himself is perfect”.
I should add here, lest I will be misunderstood: Only God knows how much I love and try to live the virtues of Charbel. But we can’t all look like him and be like him, least of all the priests. This is not what Holiness is about.
Holiness is not about externalities. It is about being transformed and being the best version of ourselves given who we are, where we are, with whom we are, right here and right now. It is about being conformed to Christ through the power of the Spirit so can become like the Father.
St Charbel is not a saint today because he ‘copied and pasted’ the life of others but because he opened himself up to the Spirit. He gave his life to the Spirit, entirely so he became consumed by God who is Love and therefore, consumed in love. He is now living eternally, what he lived here temporally.
We need to move beyond petty criticism and externalities and pray for our priests accepting that they are not perfect and indeed they make errors which if serious, they need to be held accountable for. And accepting that they have their own limitations as human beings, thus my local parish priest may not be a great homilist or singer or may not relate well to the youth. We need and this includes me, help support their strength and stand beside them as they grow in holiness.
As for me, I am left asking the only question that matters: Despite my many limitations, will the priesthood be my journey and that of my family’s towards holiness? Will I allow God to consume all my being with his love?
Burning Hearts 