Incomplete 

After a full term of teaching, one feels quite spent. The holidays could not have come at a better time. The reason why I love working with young people is because they are filled with life, ideas, ideals, dreams, enthusiasm and energy. But above all they are young and growing so they are incomplete. They are inchoate. 

There incompleteness reminds me so clearly of my own. We are all incomplete. At every age, stage, phase, season, time and moment, we are incomplete. We have incomplete dreams, ideas, thoughts, plans, projects, wants, needs, relationships, choices and actions, feelings and desires. We want what we don’t have and can’t have what we want (Cf. Rm 7:15). 

This feeling can overwhelm us and can be disabling leaving us forever unsatisfied, empty and discontent, but if understood positively it can be seen as a real sign and an opportunity for greater growth, an opportunity to be filled. 

The late Fr Francois Varillon, a French theologian and Jesuit priest speaks of eliminating “dangerous words” in understanding our faith. These words relate to the concept of completeness in relation to God as creator because they conjure up false childhood images of God that we have acquired. 

One of these words is “maker”. By using the word “maker” (used in the creed – In Arabic we use creator) we cannot and do not mean that God manufactures creation (us included) like a car manufacturer makes a car for example or a toy-maker makes a toy. Why, because manufacturing means a “complete product”. But God is love and God’s power is the power of love BUT love can only create “creators”. Yes we are Created but created “creators” with limitations, partaking or sharing with God as creators. 

We are not finished products for we are forever evolving. We are growing physically up to a certain age and always growing mentally and spiritually. We are above all growing in freedom. The danger which we must avoid is thinking and imagining that God creates finished products as if God doesn’t trust our freedom to grow which is anti-love and anti-God. The big bang and evolution hypothesis fits in here perfectly but you may not believe in this (No big deal). Let me repeat by simply saying that we are not born finished products. 

This essential paradigm shift has implications on how we relate to creation for we are all incomplete and in need of growing. 

We must begin by being patient with ourselves. I must accept myself as I am. Stop fighting everything and everyone. Sure we can change bad habits but we must be gentle with ourselves and accept the deep wounds that we carry the result of which may have been poor parenting and broken or abusive relationships. 

We must also accept that everything from a changing job, to changing love and relationships, takes time and that our inchoate desires and dreams will never be fully fulfilled. We will always be aching for the more and must see this as a divine sign that we hunger for the divine.  

It also means we must be patient with others to grow and mature. We need to have mercy on other people’s weaknesses. We cannot demand immediate results and changes all the time.

It is only by understanding this that we realise that our obsession for perfectionism, i.e. to finish everything completely at work, at home, in every project, to be free from all the problems, to be clean all the time, to be fully satisfied and complete is an illusion. 

Patience and mercy are virtues that I need to practice. I need to learn from the Parable of the Sower and wait for the seed that God is growing in my heart and the heart of others to bear much fruit. I need to wait patiently like the Father for the lostness in me and others to return.