In a recent conversation with young and intelligent women I couldn’t help but be moved by a repetitive saying she drew my attention to, we use in Arabic. How often we say: “ra7et 3layna”. It’s hard to literally translate but it is equivalent to saying “my chances are all gone” or “it’s too late” i.e. I might as well give up for I have been forgotten and my opportunities are gone.
This was like a seed planted in me and I couldn’t help but reflect over the last few weeks on my own life and that deep seated fear that God has limited opportunities for me and that if I miss out then my chances are gone, “ra7et 3laye”. The good old FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). It leaves me regretful of ‘what might have been, IF”: If I took this opportunity or made that decision. If I chose the other path and not this one. If I made this choice, had that conversation and not this one. If I chose this vocation, job and not this one.
In Lebanese culture this is grounded and used mostly but not always in relation to love and finding love. I recall in a talk last year by Bishop Antoine-Charbel Tarabay on Contraception where I was assigned to collect questions written for the Bishop. A question which was off-topic and since there was little time, was not answered was: “How come not everyone finds true (married) love? How long does one have to wait for God? Are my chances all gone?”
We are reminded daily that we have limited resources, money, food, fresh water, for all of us to use. That we must be equitable and share. That the gap between the rich and poor is growing. That there is no place for refugees because there are limited jobs. That we have limited time here. Our parents tell us always to enjoy our school days because they are limited. Even our wants such as cars, Iphones and Ipads have limited life spans.
Our youthfulness we are told is limited. We do out best to prolong it but it cannot last forever. And even deep down we are fearful that the love of our parents and siblings may run out. And for those thinking about marriage or relationships they are reminded of many stories of people breaking up, marriages splitting up and the reason after years and years together is that “they don’t love each other anymore”. Love seems to also be limited. All seems to be transient.
I hope you can see the theme clearly. We have gathered this deep seated belief that everything is limited. And most of it true. We have also, and this is the core of what I am saying, transferred this to God acting in our lives.
We deeply believe that God’s love for us is limited. That God will afford us with only so many chances and after that God will give up on us and get sick of us and will turn off the tap of opportunities and then our chances are gone and truly “ra7et 3layna” (too late). We become good for nothing, hopeless and in despair.
We believe that indeed and live in regret about mistakes made and opportunities lost. About love that will never come again, about an abusive marriage that will never be replaced.
But here we are transferring human qualities on God. God is love and love is infinite. The word God is best understood as highlighted by Stephen Bevans as a verb and not a noun. God is forever giving us God’s self. This is the heart of the Eucharist. God is the overflowing and ever-flowing river of love and life. A river that experiences not drought but over flow of “life and life in abundance” and in that river the opportunities of quenching our thirst are endless.
They don’t come the way we want them and how we want them, but there is always life-giving water and opportunities for us all. There needs to be time for healing though, time to count our losses, to grief but not to despair. If we understand anything from Scripture it is that God always, always gives us another chance despite our unfaithfulness, our mishaps and our shortsightedness. It is in God’s nature to love, to give. It is in Jesus that we know and see this so clearly as he gives himself to us on the cross and water and blood overflow from his side.
I leave you to reflect on these words from a Taize song: “Keep me God for I trust in you. You Show me the path of life, with you there is fullness of Joy”.
So all we need to is trust, be patient in trust, and wait so we are ready for the next opportunity, the next moment of God, of Love that we are awake to for often we fall a sleep. It is here; “Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest” (Jn 4:36).
Burning Hearts 